When we experience loss or grief, it can so often catches us by surprise. Grief can come in many forms, including job loss, death in the family or non-death losses, natural disasters, developing a life threatening illness, death of a family pet, being exposed to combat or warzone, break-in or robbery, family seperation, ect. These things hit us out of nowhere and we feel utterly helpless as to how to deal with them, let alone how to help our children deal with their hurt.
HELPING OUR CHILDREN DEAL WITH GRIEF
This past year, we experienced grief in our family. This experience was heart breaking and I wanted desperately to take away my children’s pain. I immediately knew that our children would need age appropriate information about what was happenning. Our kids needed to know that we loved them and that they could speak openly to us about what was going on. I openly wept with my children and feel that it is ok for children to see that adults cry sometimes too.
I know that I don’t have all the answers. It’s hard, I know. I do find myself a step ahead of my children-leading them as I learn. Often times, this is our greatest teaching, when we are showing as much as we are telling. When we are learning bravely and trusting bodly, we are right beside them!
I am choosing to trust God with my hardest hurts, my greatest questions! I know He will use this for His good. That trusting becomes a quiet showing as our children have a front row seat to see how we respond to all the things that shake us. THIS is actually an opportunity to further introduce our children to the very grace that is healing my heart.
THIS IS A GIFT
I believe the key to navigating hard, desperate, painful places with our children is to let them know we are here. We do not need to have all the answers. We just need to grab their hands and help to gently point them in the direction to the very Lord that is healing our heart. I believe that trusting our All Mighty God that is big enough to heal all of hearts at the very same time.
BOOKS TO HELP WITH GRIEF
*The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers
*My Big Dumb Invisible Dragon by Angie Lucas
*Big Cat, Little Cat by Elisha Cooper
*The Rabbit Listened by Cory Doerrfeld
SCRIPTURES THAT OFFER COMFORT
”In this world you will have trouble, but take heart..I have overcome the world.”-John 16:33
”The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”-Psalms 34:18
”You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears and recorded each one in your book.”-Psalms 56:8
QUOTES THAT HAVE HELPED ME UNDERSTAND GRIEF
”We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend.”-Brene Brown
”It’s crazy the amount of time we spend trying to avoid these hard topics when they’re really the ones that can set us free.”-Brene Brown
“Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness-an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand.”-Brene Brown
I hope that as you navigate through your grief and your children’s grief that are you are able to find comfort in the Lord and have found help here on the blog! I think that by sharing our experiences with each other, that we can only help others that are dealing with similar experiences. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!