HOW TO CREATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

What are boundaries?

Boundaries are needed in every relationship. A boundary is a imaginary line that seperates me from you. Boundaries seperate your physical space, needs, feelings and responsibilities from others. Your boundaries tell people how they can treat you. Boundaries say what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. If you do not set boundaries with people, they may take advantage of you because you have not set limits about how you expect to be treated. 

A boundary illustration 

Think of a boundary like a property line. In the last home we owned, right after we moved in, I had noticed the neighbor cutting our grass on our property line. Like 15 foot over the property line. I thought it was odd, but did not say anything the first couple of times it happened. After the third time, we asked him to stop. He said he had always cut our grass on that side. We kindly let him know that we would be cutting our own grass. The previous homeowner never cut the grass, so the neighbor always cut that side. I would like to think that, with us being the new homeowners, he would give us the opportunity to see if we wanted to cut our own grass. He did not, so we needed to establish a boundary with him.  Point being is that if you do not speak up and say that a boundary is being crossed, it gives the impression that your ok with it. 

When a boundary is crossed, you need to give feedback saying if it is ok or not. The boundary is worthless if you don’t enforce it by giving feedback and consequences. Now, some people will accept the boundary and some will continue to challenge it and even escalate it. The specific consequences depend on the relationship and the history of the relationship, as well. 

Do you know how to create healthy boundaries?

Does creating boundaries make you feel guilty? Have you wanted to create boundaries in relationships but just do not know how or are you afraid of feeling guilty for creating boundaries?

Toxic relationships are really common. Heavy cultural conditioning makes it painful to speak about those types of relationships. A lot of times, the person sharing their experience is often being judged or viewed as crazy or wrong because its a family member or parent. People may think you are overly imagining things or that it couldn’t possibly be that bad. You may even feel pressure to maintain the relationship on the other person’s terms and afriad to set boundaries. The truth is that the pressured feeling, from not wanting to create a boundary, comes from a desire to receive the love you wanted, but never received. Without boundaries, people will walk all over you.

Why do we need boundaries?

Boundaries create a entity that allows you to make your own decisions and have your own feelings. It also allows you to know and ask for what you want without the need to please other people.

Boundaries are a form of self care and healthy boundaries mean that you value your own feelings/needs. Boundaries also mean that you are not responsible for how others feel or behave. Boundaries can also allow you to let go of worrying and create a sense of peace with placing accountability with that particular person. Boundaries mean that saying no to things that are not your priority. 

Boundaries will create a realistic expectation to your friends, your spouse, boss or family member to know what is expected. Clearly communicating boundaries will let people know how they are expected to behave. When expectations are not communicated and met, resentment and anger flourish. 

Boundaries create a safety by providing  physical and emotional safety by keeping what feels hurtful or uncomfortable. 

What prevents us from setting boundaries?

Fear keeps us from setting boundaries. What are you scared of? Are you afraid of dissapointing someone by creating a boundary? What will happen if you do not set a boundary? ASK yourself those questions to see why your stuck. If you grew up in a family without boundaries, you probably did not have anyone to teach you about boundaries or anyone to model healthy boundaries. Setting boundaries is definitely a skill that is learned. Some people do not want to create boundries because they do not want to dissapoint others or they will just avoid conflict at all costs. 

Bottom line of boundaries

The truth is that setting boundaries can disrupt relationships.. You will probably even get some resistance but sometimes it is not as bad as you have imagined. Boundary setting takes time and becomes easier with practice. It will also take time for others to adjust to your boundaries. 

Love~Shae

CHRISTMAS GIFT WRAPPING IDEAS WITH OLD TIME POTTERY

CHRISTMAS GIFT WRAPPING IDEAS WITH OLD TIME POTTERY

[This post contains sponsored links. The items featured in this post is provided by Old Time Pottery; all opinions and reviews are my own.]

Old Time Pottery is one of my favorite places to shop for Christmas gift wrapping! Come follow along with me, as I share ideas for gift wrapping those holiday gifts!

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CHRISTMAS WRAPPING WITH OLD TIME POTTERY

I was so excited when Old Time Pottery asked me to team up with them, this holiday season! Christmas is my favorite time of year, as I love everything about the Christmas season! I am sure a lot of you have been thinking about what to buy family or friends for Christmas. What about a homemade treat? Nothing says “I love you” like a homemade treat and it speaks straight to the heart!

After spending an afternoon in your kitchen, be sure to give your sweet gift the presentation it deserves. I have gathered some of my favorite, easy to assemble, food packaging ideas for ya’ll! This was all purchased for under $100!

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DECORATIVE BOXES

For mine and my husband’s siblings this year, I decided it would be fun to do one family gift for each sibling and their families. I thought it would be fun to do a box of Christmas Eve goodies for them to enjoy together. Old Time Pottery has so many different sized, decorative Christmas boxes that you can use to wrap goodies in! I decided to go with a red truck theme this year and when I saw these boxes, I knew they would be perfect for our sibling‘s family gifts this year!

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MASON JAR WITH VINTAGE RED TRUCK LID

In the box, I placed homemade hot cocoa mix in a mason jar from Old Time Pottery. The lid even had a vintage red truck on it! Add a cute tag with handwritten or printed directions for the hot cocoa. 

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OUR FAMILY’S HOT COCOA RECIPE

My husband has been making this hot cocoa recipe since our oldest two daughter’s were babies. We have had many years to perfect this creamy, chocolatey goodness! 

Hot Cocoa Recipe:

3/4 C Sugar 1

1/4 C Cocoa

4 and 1/3 C Milk

1/2 TSP Vanilla (optional)

Directions:

Mix cocoa and sugar into a saucepan. Stir in milk over medium heat until all sugar and cocoa is dissolved and cocoa is heated. Do not allow this to boil, as it will burn to the bottom of the pan. Add vanilla.

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FOOD GOODIES FOR THE DECORATIVE BOX

I also added homemade hot chocolate bombs, along with homemade oreo truffles and chocolate covered spoons to stir in their hot cocoa.

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The hot cocoa also needed Christmas themed mugs to drink from when drinking the hot cocoa. I wanted to add a mug for each of our nieces and nephews; depending on age, I added the Santa, snowman or polar bear mugs to the decorative boxes. 

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PACKAGING FOR THE DECORATIVE BOX

To fill the box, I added white crinkle cut shredded paper. It also helps to cushion the mugs and Vintage Red Car topped mason jars. I always make sure to fill the crinkle cut paper well, making sure to fill nicely around all the edges of the box.

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VINTAGE RED TRUCK TINS

I also found the cutest tins with vintage red trucks on them! In these tins, I added mini cupcake holders that held the oreo truffles. The Vintage Red Truck Tins with the truffles will be for our parents, along with our aunts and uncles. You could make something simple for these like boxed brownies and cut them into small squares, then add to the tins. You could also make Christmas candy or divinity for the tins as well.

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VINTAGE RED TRUCK CERAMIC LOAF PANS

I buy these little loaf pans, every year from Old Time Pottery! I love to make my cream cheese banana nut bread and give out to extended family, dance teachers, neighbors and colleagues. I wrap them in cellophane and tie with a curling ribbon! EASY PEASY and everyone loves it! I am so happy to have found these that have the red vintage truck on them!

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OLD TIME POTTERY

You can find so many things at Old Time Pottery from wrapping paper to decorative boxes or the ceramic loaf pans! Old Time Pottery has so many options for this Christmas season! Plus, their prices are budget friendly and I am sure that you can find something to fit your budget this holiday season! If you have any questions or want a recipe, please don’t hesitate to reach out! I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!

Love~Shae


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